The Hummus Diaries

I have a history of making questionable nutrition decisions, but I prefer stubbornness over lesson-learning, so I will continue to make more.  I figure that I'm still alive, so I must be doing something not-too-wrong.

I'm not hydrating anymore (everyone loves the dehydrated, constantly thirsty version of me, right?), but I am trying to eat healthier.  I spent a while¹ eating whatever cheese and meat I could get my hands on for lunch, and it was good.  Good meaning tasty.  Not so good in other ways, like cholesterol, and Type II diabetes risk, and still fitting in my bike spandex.

But now² I'm Hummus Anna.  I don't eat meat before 6 pm IF AT ALL.  All I eat at lunch is hummus on pitas.  Why hummus?  Let's examine that:

• Hummus is a weird beige color.  Weird, dull colors always indicate health.  See also: fruit smoothies with kale, root vegetable purees, poultry.
• It's made of mostly beans.  I consider beans to be protein, fruit, and vegetable all in one, so I'm really hitting that food pyramid hard.
• I was allowed to have it as a snack as a kid, and my mom only fed me healthy stuff.
• It contains olive oil instead of animal fats.  Olive oil...
• is a GOOD fat, which means I can eat unlimited amounts of it.
• is the oil of choice for healthy heart diets.  I assume that this is because, instead of clogging arteries, it makes them extra slick.  Like a slip 'n slide for your blood.  You're welcome, heart.

So, how did my lunchtime hummus eating go?

Vennsday - God Loves You And Your Need For Booze

Well, it seems that the Venn Diagram Dinocorn has finally started working again.  That lazy bastard.  And!  With its new enhanced dinosaur powers, it is using more color!

These are exciting times, people.

Let's get to it.

This is also a nice diagram of my entire diet.  Anyways, you could show yourself to be a good, solid guy from Illinois by literally eating meat 'n potatoes.  That sounds pretty tasty, if slightly bland.  Or, you could be a 14-year-old who has decided that meat is evil and is eating only cheese sandwiches.  Without the meat is evil part, that sounds like Thursday to me¹.  But, put all those magical yet common ingredients together, and you have what some² would call nirvana: the cheeseburger.  I just had one two hours ago, and you know what?  I want more.  Thanks for loving me, God!³

Best quote of the week:  "More debates, more vetting of candidates because we know the mistake made in our country four years ago was having a candidate that was not vetted." - Sarah Palin.  Ah, she consistently reminds me why I listen to political podcasts.  It is less funny to think about any kind of could-have-been face off between her and Ahmadinejad.  They would have both agreed that there were no gay people in their jurisdictions, been creepily folksy, and then hunted each other with helicopters.  Final thought: Tea Parties started becoming way less fun when they decided that maybe Newt Gingrich should be president.

I'm bringing it all together here, for a nice clean wrap-up.  It looks like it's about food and drink and then SURPRISE it's about politics.  That, kids, is how you make an old-fashioned, or as we call them at my house, Anna's maybe-three-more-of-these-will-make-thinly-veiled-racism-funny⁴ juice.

¹Wednesday obviously being the day that I spend working on my blog instead of grocery shopping.
²Ok, just me.

³I'm not saying that God doesn't love Jewish people, I'm just saying that he wants them to be miserable and hungry.

⁴They didn't.