Venn Diagram Wednesday

Ok, today's not Wednesday¹.  But this is a blog that is theoretically² dedicated to projects that suck in the first place and then I never finish.  So, it seems appropriate that my first of this weekly series is a day late (literally) and a buck short (not literally... unless my Venn Diagrams get beaten up and are forced to cough up their lunch money).

I love Venn Diagrams.  I often use them when they are not the best way to convey information because they're so much fun.  Sometimes I describe them using my words because there are no surfaces around to write on.

In an effort to raise awareness about how flexible Venn Diagrams are, every week I will use the same Venn Diagram set-up to depict a minimum of three different sets of information.  I promise that this information will never make you smarter, and in some cases may actually lower your IQ (if you're having one of those terrible high IQ days).

Quickly!  To the Venn Diagrams!

Have you wondered what Venn Diagrams are for paragraphs and paragraphs?  Wonder no more!

I doodled this one during my staff meeting on Monday.  It was getting dangerously close to lunch.

 If ninjas and pirates were actually that close, the geek's ultimate wet dream of a fight would be happening.  I have strong opinions about the victor of this fight.

¹Or, as they will be called from now on around here, Vennsday.
²In practice, it seems much more dedicated to my weekly haiku.^3
3That's a haiku.

My Crappy Sayings

I feel a great emptiness inside.  It's 90% hunger because it's almost lunch time, 4% from where a soul would be if I weren't gay, but a full 6% is empty¹ because I don't have a snappy ending to "Every time you say you don't believe in gay marriage.... "  Why am I thinking about this?  Because I was Peter Pan for Halloween, and as we all know, every time you say you don't believe in fairies, a fairy dies.

I'm pretty sure that anyone² who doesn't believe in gay marriage wouldn't have a huge problem with "Every time you say you don't believe in gay marriage, a gay (or gay marriage) dies."  But what about these?

Every time you say you don't believe in gay marriage...

• ...a God-fearing, evangelical couple in Alabama gets divorced³.
• ...Dick Cheney has a heart attack.
• ...an embryo's stem cells are harvested, bringing us that much closer to curing various diseases... and killing a baby⁴.
• ...Herman Cain sexually harasses an employee while denying sexually harassing an employee, right in front of someone from Politico.
• ...a child learns about evolution, then falls asleep during the intelligent design lesson.
• ...Obama's approval rating goes up by a point.
• ...a minority and/or illegal immigrant gets that migrant worker job that you were all jazzed about applying for.
• ...a book with four and five-syllable words gets published.
• ...science happens.
• ...two teenagers have unprotected sex on top of their abstinence only homework while wearing their promise rings and then are on "16 and Pregnant."
• ...Sarah Palin gets asked what publications she reads, which is totally a trick question from the elite liberal media, those bastards.   She protects us from Russia, doncha know.
• ...a Kardashian gets divorced³.
• ...Chuck Norris gets punched by a ninja.

Uh, I am running out of things that showcase my prejudice against the south, GOP candidates, bigots, people who can't read good (and don't want to do other things good, too), and reality TV stars.

Any other suggestions?  Any favorites?  Any haters⁵?


¹Numbers not your thing?  I made a pie chart⁶.

²Wow!  Over-generalization!  That whole sentence is totally offensive!
³This is actually true.
⁴If you're in Mississippi.
⁵I think my blog needs some haters.  Then I'll really feel like I've made it.
⁶I am really into pie charts today, probably because this morning I saw a quiche that looks incredible, and quiche is like the meal version of pie.