It lives under my desk, feasting on the scraps of my lunches and anything else it can scavenge in my office.
Yesterday, I managed to draw up a quick picture of the Magical Venn Unicorn in action. It spews out random words and circles, and then those eventually coalesce on my screen. It also spews out gay rainbow hearts1.
You are probably wondering about this unicorn. Here are the answers to my assumed FAQ's:
Q: Isn't it cruel to keep such a beautiful creature under your desk?
A: It stays because of its own free will2.
Q: Why are its proportions so weird?
A: First of all, that's rude. Secondly, the well-proportioned unicorns don't get stuck with the crap powers like Venn Diagramming.
Q: Aren't you afraid Voldemort is going to come drink its blood?
A: No. Voldemort is a fictional character.
Q: Have you considered using its power for evil?
A: Yesterday I had a Venn Diagram teaching you how to swear. So, obviously yes.
Q: Can I give one to my favorite child/niece/nephew/grandchild/whatevs?
A: Yes you can! Just hit print, then BAM you have a great paper toy! I will not be held responsible for the gayifying effect it might have or for any paper cuts.
Q: Where can I find more super awesome unicorns?
A: Right here: http://buttersafe.com/2011/12/06/unicorns/
1Because it's a unicorn.
2And because of the fence I've put up.