Thursday, December 8, 2011

Haiku Friday - Cats

Some quick background:  I grew up crazy allergic to cats and actively avoided them my whole life.  I knew as much about the behaviors of cats as I did about alien courtship rituals.

At some point in the not-too-distant past, that allergy went away.  Now I am dating someone who owns three cats, and I am learning all kinds of things about them.  And, dudes, they are crazy.

It Turns Out They're Nothing Like Dogs
I always believed
That cats were like dogs except
Tiny and evil

Not A Recommended Seduction Technique
You reached for my hand
And said in your bedroom voice
"Ignore the cat puke"1

It's Also Creepy When You Stare At Me From Six Inches Away While I Sleep
Fat cat, where are you?
Hiding behind the curtains,
Always watching me?

Not Unlike When Jersey Shore Went To Florence
Cats harmonizing
Is just like a surprising
But terrible choir

Should I Be Amazed or Freaked Out?
How does your body
Bend in all those directions
Like an Escher print?

I Don't Understand Your Needs
It is misleading
When you sit on me, purring
Then claw at my face

1True story


  1. I Don't Understand Your Needs = also the title of my book about my ex

  2. Was it a similar experience? Purring then claws?