Today I give you a gift. I am a kind and benevolent blogger, so I am giving of myself and my artistic genius.
This morning, I spent three-maybe even five-minutes learning how to draw a giraffe. I looked at it, and it was good1. Then I thought, "Know who likes giraffes? Ladies2. Even my very own lady friend."
I added some key text to the drawing, and voilà, a piece of dating genius:
Giraffe subtext: Hey, ladies!
Feel free to use this as your own. It's poorly drawn enough that a lady will believe that it came from your equally untalented hand.
Have you ever wanted to express any of these feelings to a lady3 who maybe you would like to be your lady friend, but have not been sure how?
- I was bored at work, so I drew you something nice because you're always on my mind!
- I identify as a giraffe who likes ladies!
- Oh god, my leg is broken and atrophied, but I'm filled with so much love for you!
- I'm six!
- Weeee! Irregular geometric shapes!
- Help! I'm stuck on graph paper and I miss the savanna!
- I did something awful, and I thought a poorly drawn giraffe would distract you from that.
- I love you!
Please note, these are inappropriate times to use the giraffe:
- Picking up a lady in a bar. Too fast, yo, too fast.
- In the middle of a serious conversation. Giraffes should only be used in times of happiness.
- With someone who has had a close friend or family member mauled by a giraffe.
- In an art museum. It won't hold up well in comparison.
Use responsibly... and you're welcome.
1It was not at all good.
2This claim is not backed up by scientific research.
3Or a dude. I just think maybe giraffes work better on the ladies. Because I'm a sexist and also because I have seen way more ladies say "awwwwwww" at giraffes.