Vennsday - Come Together

It's hard to see, sometimes, what liberals and conservatives have in common.  Obviously, we all like the Colbert Report¹ and tacos, but those things only get us so far².

Do we have any other things in common?  Let's examine some issues.

Nerds can be liberals or conservatives: nerdism doesn't discriminate.  They all agree that cotton is comfortable and that school is pretty awesome, but they don't agree on the best source of news.  Let's just stick to what we agree on: being stuffed in a locker gets to be uncomfortable after a while.

Everyone agrees that art goes on walls or sometimes in gardens, but not everyone agrees that Picasso is art (*I seriously had a guy in college art history class argue about whether or not Picasso was art because he didn't recognize the figure as a person).  Let's just all go look at a nice Monet, and make little paint-smushing noises as we think about his method³.

Teenage sex is there, in the middle of our country, just like this yellow Venn circle in the middle of the diagram, where no one likes to talk about it.  Conservatives get around this by basically ignoring it and handing out abstinence only textbooks that I can only assume have a cover, a back cover, and a single sheet that says "NO" in giant letters between the two covers.  Liberals overcompensate by talking about all the feelings involved and all the birth control options and encouraging their children to read some interesting books about teenage sex before they have "the talk" so that it can be an informed discussion and emailing Dan Savage when it turns their kid is gay so that they can start all over again but have the books about teenage gay sex.  Seriously, though, kids: use a condom.⁴

¹The great thing about the Report is that everyone thinks they're in on a big secret that the other side doesn't get.
²Mostly these two things get us to our couch for fourth meal.
³Is that just me?  I like to add sound effects to my art experiences....
⁴You should all know that while I was writing that paragraph, I was still making paint smushing sounds in my head and thinking about Monet.

Venn Diagram Wednesday - Less Meta This Time

It's Vennsday again!  Everyone rejoice!  The circles are back... and this time they're all the same size!

This week, you'll learn important things about Oregon, how to create a New York Times bestseller, and the fact that I totally boned your mom last night.  Yeah, she'll probably deny it, but that's because she thinks you can't handle the truth.

Sick of words?  Me too.  Let's get to the lo-fi diagrams.

Yup, that pretty much covers this state.  FYI, hipsters and hippies agree on only one thing: showers are lame.

We live in a world where Tyra Banks and Snooki have bestsellers and Ayn Rand is regarded as a genius.   The apocalypse called to say, "Wow, I think I'll cancel my 2012 plans for Earth because I don't want to get near that crazy-assed place."

Ha, your mom ruined your family!  Oh, wait... sorry, dude.